Okay, so it’s been a while since I played, but I could not resisit this one. The task was to head on over to They Fight Crime! A random generator that offers two character discriptions that always end with; They Fight Crime!
He’s a sword-wielding guerrilla paranormal investigator, searching for his wife’s true killer. She’s an artistic, snooty, research scientist, with a birthmark shaped like liberty’s torch. They Fight Crime!
I adapted the sentence slightly by turning the word Guerrilla into the word Gorilla.
And here we have:
The Pentalpha Conundrum
the voice came soothingly through the darkness
‘I said, Hello’
a sting in his cheek removed the darkness like the flip of a coin.
the voice was somewhat less sweet now, more upper class snobbery than lullaby.
‘What. Is. Your. Name?’
His eyes had been open, but lacked focus. Only now could the voice’s owner be deciphered from the blur; she wore thick rimmed glasses, her blue eyes shimmered through the lenses, studying him. Her hair was in a tight bun, the blonde highlights stood out amongst the otherwise neutral brown.
‘What happened here Paul?’
The blunt tone of her voice reverberated around his tender skull; he felt as though he had downed a litre of whiskey – the cheap stuff.
Paul looked at the shadow that loomed from the corner of his eye
‘Is’ he frowned, the back of his head throbbed ‘that a Gorilla?’
‘Yes, now let’s concentrate on the important things shall we’ she said ‘What did they want, and which way did they go?’
Paul continued to stare at the Gorilla; it stared back.
‘Why is it wearing clothes, and is that a sword?’
She sighed, it was full of frustration, like an impatient teacher ‘Yes, now if you could tell me what they were after, or anything, anything at all’
‘What, who, what are you talking about?’ Paul asked
To Paul’s surprise, it was the Gorilla that spoke ‘It’s no use Liberty, they put the freeze on him’
‘Well, it was worth a shot’ she stood up, and Paul noticed she was wearing a pristine, white lab coat.
‘Did it just talk?’ said Paul, gesturing to the Gorilla
‘Don’t be rude Paul, it has a name’
‘Big Gee’ she gestured to the Gorilla. ‘Paul’ she gestured to Paul.
The Gorilla Scowled at him, if his head did not feel like it had been mistaken for a baseball, he might have felt intimidated.
‘We have to find out what they took’ said Big Gee
‘Agreed’ replied Liberty
Paul looked round him, the vast marble floors began to look familiar ‘am I at work?’ he asked
‘You’re in the museum’ Liberty replied ‘But I doubt you’ll have a Job by the morning’
‘The Pentalpha’ exclaimed Liberty.
Paul frowned ‘the Jewish game?’
‘No, the ring given to King Solomon by one of the archangels’ the Gorilla’s rumbled.
The sun was announcing its arrival as the light streamed in through the windows. They had scoured the entire museum before they noticed what was missing. Despite the hours that had passed, Paul’s head continued to throb.
‘Gee, that’s not good’
The Gorilla nodded ‘We have to get out of here before the morning staff arrive’
Paul watched as the blonde and her Gorilla walked away ‘Wait!’ he yelled. They both stopped, though only Liberty turned round ‘Yes?’
Paul walked toward them ‘I have no idea what has happened here, but clearly I’m involved’ Paul ignored the snort from the Gorilla; despite it echoing along the corridor.
‘Look, Paul’ Liberty said, attempting – but failing – to use her most sincere tone. ‘What’s going on here is a little bit beyond your world’ she smiled; Paul was almost convinced she meant it.
‘I don’t care’ he said ‘these people, whoever they were, took something on my watch’ Paul winced, rubbing the back of his head ‘and left me with a splitting headache’
Liberty turned to Gee ‘He may remember something valuable once he’s defrosted’
the Gorilla looked less than impressed; it snorted, then fixed Paul with a scowl ‘Fine’ it said.
Paul followed the unusual duo, though he could not be sure of the journey – mainly due to the throbbing in his head – he found himself in a derelict warehouse, on the outskirts of town. He rubbed the dust from a window and peered through the circle he made, the wet pavement outside was a long way down.
‘Gee, I think I’ve found something’
Paul turned to see the Gorilla amble toward Liberty, who was sitting in front of a computer; the light from the screen was only source in the room. Paul noticed a strange mark on her neck. He could not fathom why, but he immediately thought of New York.
‘So that’s why it’s been stolen’ said Big Gee
‘But, by whom?’ replied Liberty
‘let’s hope the night watchman remembers something when he thaws’ looking toward Paul; Big Gee flared his nostrils ‘I’d hate to think we’d been putting up with him for nothing’
Pauls head still pounded, but he had become more aware of the Gorilla’s dislike for him.
Later, when she was alone, Paul spoke to Liberty.
‘Why is he so angry?’
‘He’s perfectly placid, do you mean, why is he full of anger?’ Liberty asked
Though he felt perplexed, Paul nodded.
‘Well how would you feel if you woke up one morning next to your wife, who had been butchered to the point of non-recognition, and the police believed you to be the prime suspect?’
Paul sat open mouthed, staring at liberty
‘Oh, and to top it off, you’d been turned into a Gorilla’
unsure what to say, Paul replied ‘Oh’
‘The sword was laying next to her, it was the weapon they used’ she said all this in the most matter of fact manner ‘He’s determined to use it on whoever owns it’
After a lengthy silence, Paul asked
‘so, are you two like’ he searched his mind for the word ‘superheroes?’
‘Good heavens no’ she said ‘I’m a research scientist, and Big Gee was a paranormal investigator, before someone from the other world took a disliking to his investigations’
‘So why are you looking for whoever stole that ring’ asked Paul
‘Because these are not your average criminals’ she said ‘they’re of a paranormal persuasion’
‘but you said you weren’t superheroes’
‘Superhero, suggests super-powers, and neither of us have those’
Despite his size, Paul had not heard Big Gee approach, so his voice made him jump
‘But’ he said ‘We Fight Crime’